Oh snaps.

Welcome to the internets. Where most of you spend countless hours during the week. We get paid to sit in front of the computer and pretend to do work, but really, we're finding out what Lindsay Lohan had for breakfast and googling awkward pictures of cats. Here's a toast (a blog toast because drinking is NOT allowed during work...) to all of you 40 hours a week craftsmen. Because let's be honest, we are all craftsmen. Do you know how hard it is to quickly exit a facebook browser?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The World According to an Alcoholic


Brenda Walsh, what are you doing?

Have you seen this commercial for online classes featuring Shannen Doherty?  WTF?! Homegirl - I know times are tough, but really?!  An online courses commercial?!  C'mon...there has to be other options...I would opt for a Snuggies commercial before this.  This is just plain AWKWARD.


Bully Cat

I've seen a lot of cat videos in my day, a lot of good ones at that. This one? Definitely a top contender.

Willie Nelson x Coldplay

I have no idea what this video is, but the song is fucking amazing.  It's Willie Nelson doing a cover of Coldplay's "The Scientist".  I literally got goosebumps listening to this...


Inspiration for the day.

It's Wednesday.  We're halfway to the weekend!  I need some inspiration.  Here's an amazing photo of Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix playing soccer backstage before a show...


And I came across this today.  I WANT THIS IN MY ROOM.



The News According to Snooki

I don't even know why this was created but I just accidentally watched the whole thing.

Prince Harry has the moves

...until he falls into a fountain.  I think we have the male version of Lindsay Lohan on our hands...







Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Royal Sabotage Soiree!

THIS THURSDAY!!
Come out and support the new gaymazing webseries "Royal Sabotage."  Check out Work It LA on the flyer (NOICE).  

The series follows Royal, as he looks for what every gay person in LA looks for - true love, wild sex, expensive whiskey and a job (Or three).  This new webseries which is described as "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia meets Cougar Town" is sure to be a hit and this Thursday (September 1), we will be celebrating at HERE Lounge in WeHo (696 N. Robertson).  OPEN BAR from 9-10:30 PM.  Join the VIP List HERE and get in for FREE before 11pm.  Don't be homophobe - come party with the gays!

PS CakePopsLA will be there and if you've never had one...you will DIE.  They're too good...I went to a BBQ this weekend and couldn't stop eating them...Check out CakePopsLA!


CarSik Bib

So, the funny thing about the CarSik Bib commercial is that the man slangin' it to potential customers via YouTube thinks he's really got a helluva product. The next Snuggie, perhaps? Think again, used-car-like-salesman. The simulation with the dummy is my favorite part.

BEES!

WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR THEM TO CALL AN EXTERMINATOR? WHY?



Where's Waldo Tattoo

Psh...you call this a challenge?  I found him in like 3 seconds!  Que ever.




Dancing With The Stars Cast


Guilty Pleasure:  Dancing with the stars.  I just think the show is absolutely ridiculous and it's fun to watch D List celebrities shake their tush.  The new cast has been "leaked," and there are some interesting people on the list...

- Carson Kressley (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)
- Chaz Bono (Trans son of Sonny and Cher)
- Chynna Phillips (1/3 of Wilson Phillips...I hope she dances to "Hold On")
- David Arquette (ex Courtney Cox hubby, weirdo)
- Elisabetta Canalis (George Clooney's ex...that's about it)
- Hope Solo (Women's Soccer Team, fellow 509-er...HOLLER)
- J.R. Martinez (no idea)
- Kristin Cavallari (Laguna Beach, The Hills bitch)
- Nancy Grace (fucking psycho news anchor)
- Ricki Lake (Yay!)
- Rob Kardashian? (Are you fucking kididng me)
- Ron Artest (YESSSSSSSSSSSS)

Caption this!

Someone please come up with a good caption for this.  Oh and if you attend my funeral, don't do this.


Skip It! Skip It!

OMG. If anyone is in possession of a Skip It...or can direct me where to go to buy one...HOLLER! Do you guys remember how awesome skip it was? Who wants to have a skip it party??

Seal.

It's a slow news day. Here you go.


Trapped Dog


This is so good:


It reminds me of that one time we put Merc's dog Bentley in a room full of balloons and he wouldn't move until we moved the balloons for him. CUTE!


Sneak Preview of Kim K's music video

I apologize if I ruin your day in advance.  This is just horrible with a capital WHORE.


Lindsay Lohan wants a black eye, I mean a black guy


GOOOD MORNING!

Hope that didn't creep you out too much.

Want to feel poor?

Oh, just take a tour of Donald Trump's private jet.  The plus side:  gold silk walls (WTF does this even mean), gold plated seat belts, a movie theater, a master bedroom, a guest bedroom and 24 karat gold plated sinks.  The shitty part?  You have to fly with Donald Trump.  GROSS!



Fun Fact of the Day

I was watching the news today and heard about a plane that crashed into a house in Santa Monica.  Fun fact of the day:  The house?  It belongs to Rachel Blanchard who played Cher in the tv series Clueless.  Ha!




Monday, August 29, 2011

Silly, Jenn...


Nicki Minaj joins Taylor Swift on stage

...and they perform Super Bass together!  This happened last night - Staples Center...who went?  I'm not the biggest Taylor Swift fan but apparently there was a slew of celebrities there including Ellen DeGeneres playing random songs on a guitar...


Gucci Gucci Nipple Nipple Fendi Fendi Prada


Kreayshawn had a rough night last night.  Not only did she lose for Best New Artist at the VMAs but her Twitter was also hacked!  And the person that hacked her posted nude pictures of her on her own Twitter (Slam!).  To see the NSFW pictures, check them out after the jump...


Kia Soul Hamsters

I have NO idea why but I seriously love these stupid little Hamsters in the Kia Soul commercials.

Flags of the World

I think Germany's needs to be updated...just sayin'.


I am not a robot, I am a unicorn.

Want to see two robots talking to each other?  Their conversation is fucking weird.



I have no idea what to fucking say about this.

Just watch! It's BREEZEE ONE and her song "Bike Chase." WTF. WHY HAVEN'T I MADE A RIDICULOUS MUSIC VIDEO YET?!

BREEZEE ONE - BIKE CHASE from BREEZEE ONE on Vimeo.

Kreayshawn + Rick Ross = Frenemies

Oh snaps!  Look like Rick Ross is sick of Kreayshawn talking shit about him and his peoples and her peoples totes mcgotes got in a fight backstage last night at the VMAs...Kreayshawn - be careful.  Rick Ross looks like he can crush you with his pinky...

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music

To sum up the VMAs

I don't have cable.  I think it's a waste of money - especially because I get updates on everything on Facebook and Twitter.  And I could usually watch things on the internets - OH THE INTERNETS!!  Anyways, I read an amazing tweet last night that pretty much sums up the whole VMAs thing (I think...again, I didn't watch).  Here's what the tweet said:

"Lady Gaga came as a man, Nicki Minaj came as Lady Gaga and Jay Z came inside Beyonce!"


VMA 'Fashion'

Alright, here it is: VMA Fashion. Or as I like to call it, 'Celebrities having the chance to wear potentially awesome and expensive outfits to a highly publicized event and then ruining everything by wearing stupid, stupid things.'
Enjoy!

Katy Perry kicks things off in this 'record breaking' catastrophe.

Nicki Minaj wears something that is indescribably moronic.

Britney Spears is still winning awards at these things and showing up in what appears to be a poorly thought out dominatrix ensemble.

Some lesbian showed up wearing leopard shoes with red pants.

And they actually invited this Jersey Shore star and she wore this fuckin' too-small-yet-obnoxiously-prideful sequined thing.

And Lady Gaga dressed up as a man named Jo Calderone.


LE SIGH.

BEYONCE IS PREGGERS!

If you haven't been on the internet until this very moment, I'd love to be the first to inform you that Miz Beyonce is preggers! She announced her pregnancy last night at the VMA's while rubbing her belly.

CONGRATS TO B AND JAY-Z! That is going to be one beautifully, beautifully rich child.

Adele at the VMA's

Last night, Adele proved the true mark of her talent by standing on the VMA stage, the same stage that performers are known to provide lengthy and outrageous lip syncing performances, and simply sang her hit 'Someone Like You' with nothing but a microphone and a pianoman. What a refreshingly beautiful performance from a well deserved VMA Winner:

Friday, August 26, 2011

Bow Down to The Queen

Okay but really, how badass is Helen Mirren? She is 66 fucking years old and rocking the shit out of this red dress.

Happy Women's Equality Day!

I bet you had no fucking clue that today was Women's Equality Day. Well don't feel bad, neither did I. I just found out - but boy woman, am I excited! Today marks the 91st anniversary of the 19th Amendment - so let's cheers to women's rights, birth control and the ability to go to Home Depot and have everything taken care for you!


Kathy Griffin professes love for Justin Bieber

...a la Jim Carey x Emma Stone.
I knew Kathy G was a lesbian!  J Biebs - come out of the closet already!
Speaking of, see you all at MUGSHOT at the Down N' Out Bar downtown tonight!  I'm sure a ton of Justin Biebers will be there...


Fast French Firefighters

These French Firefighters are pretty damn speedy. I wonder if they make a French Firefighter calendar...?

The Ultimate Showdown

Stick with it...it get's good...

Let's Duet.

The duet is a vibrator.
It's also a USB drive.
You know, because you always need a combo of the two.

"Oh you're looking for that file?  It's on this vibrator.  Sorry if it's a bit sticky."


LiLo lets the games begin!

Lindsay Lohan plays a graffiti artist in The Miggs' new video "Let the Games Begin".  What an ac-tor.  Sidenote: my friend Taylor worked on this music video...which later ensued a Twitter conversation with Lindsay Lohan which left me very green with envy...




Rednecks for Obama

These people actually exist!?


Al Pacino

This one started off my Friday right:



The Ultimate Beach Bag

When I was in Vegas this week, they handed out SO MANY TOTES.  It was totes galore!  Kareem made it his personal goal to collect every single one and I'm pretty sure he walked away with 60 of them.  Will he use them?  Probably not.  This video reminds me of all of the totes from Vegas...except this beach bag is multi-functional.  But can someone please explain what the fuck is going on toward the end??



Back to School Sale!

Of course.


I love your nipples.


Watch out NYC


I feel bad for the East Coast.  First they had the worst winter with snow in April (WTF), then they had a horrific earthquake last week...and now, a hurricane is heading their way.  New Yorkers - make your way west.  The weather's nicer and so are the people!  Good luck this weekend!!

Oh shit!

This has got to be worth a FORTUNE...


Thursday, August 25, 2011

Krumping Kids

Umm...amazing.  You must watch these little guys dance - I want a lesson.


Wanted: Babysitter!

Babysit some adults on mushrooms - what a dream job!



(click on image to enlarge and read)

Do you know who I am, BITCH?!!

Want to hear a gay guy break up with his boyfriend?  This is how it usually goes down...

1) Talk about how awesome you are.
2) Talk about how hot your are.
3) Talk about how ugly the other guy is.
4) Talk about how hot you are.

WIN.

(Say these things over and over again and call another few hundred times for extra points)

I wish those buttons were placed a little higher...just sayin'.

Gameboy Swimsuit - a gamer's wetdream.


Obama's Secret Handshake

...I wish this was real.


Hunter S. Thompson and Conan O'Brien Shooting Guns and Drinking Whiskey

Yesterday I posted a badass picture of Hunter S. Thompson and Bill Murray. Today, I'm posting this video of Hunter S. Thompson and Conan O'Brien shooting guns and drinking whiskey together.


*Fun Fact: did you know that Thompson killed himself with a bullet to the head in 2005 and then made his wife and Johnny Depp shoot his ashes out of a cannon at his funeral?

EVERY Outfit Cher Wore in Clueless in 60 Seconds

OMG. This is why I love the internet. This is why I work for the internet and I spent countless hours on the internet every day. It's because of videos like these. God bless Clueless and some guy named Daniel Reis who made this video. Enjoy!

Oh gawwwwd.

Some dumbass got an "I survived the quake" tattoo - yes, because of the East Coast Earthquake.  Jokes on you dude, this tattoo is not funny.


Joseph Gordon-Levitt x Nirvana

In honor of being in Seattle, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (yes, from 500 days of Summer) did a cover of the Nirvana song "Lithium".  He didn't do terrible...but why does Seattle only mean Nirvana?! Way to be original JGL... PS Why did he have a show???  What band is he in?  Someone tell me...

GLEE: Fashion's Night Out

Loving everything about this video!  The Glee cast performs to David Bowie's "Fashion"...UGH.  SO GOOD.


Jim Carrey Professes His Love for Emma Stone

Okay so, I love Jim Carrey. For reasons some of you know and some of you will never know. But this weird video is making me seriously wonder about him. It could be some sort of a PR stunt, or he could just actually be really creepy and seriously have a fat crush on Emma Stone. Either way- not funny, Jim.



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Bill Murray and Hunter S. Thompson on a Boat

I want to be part of this.

Steve Jobs Resigns!

Here's the letter of resignation from the Apple Man himself:

August 24, 2011–To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve

Here's a young Steve Jobs and Bill Gates chillin'

Ridiculous Wedding Attire

Some of the shit people wear down the aisle really makes you wonder...

And my personal favorite:

Live! From Las Vegas!

Kareem and I are in Vegas (and have been all week) for the MAGIC convention (it's a fashion convention, not so much a Criss Angel fan club). While here, I've seen and stalked some interesting celebrities. Here is my list -

Lauren Conrad
- babe
- smells good
- take 2 sugars and 1 cream in her coffee (I investigated)
- really does look like Keripedia!!

Rachel Zoe and her husband Roger
- homegirl is skinny as a stick
- Roger is totes gay!
- doesn't take photos with fans

Carrot Top
- holy ugly! He's very unattractive...
- his wife is so hot
- definitely has a membership to the gym, but not one to the tanning salon

Ben Lee!!
- used to date Claire Danes
- did a private show for me (and 10 other people)
- smoked his first ever blunt with us (yesssssssss)

Romi Klinger
- the real l word
- I see her a lot, so this doesn't really count but I just wanted to post a picture of her because she's fucking hot.

Start your morning off right

(how i wish this was real...)

"Stocking"

I'm pretty good at stalking but stocking seems to be my future calling. Stocking - recreating stock photos. Amazing!