Oh snaps.

Welcome to the internets. Where most of you spend countless hours during the week. We get paid to sit in front of the computer and pretend to do work, but really, we're finding out what Lindsay Lohan had for breakfast and googling awkward pictures of cats. Here's a toast (a blog toast because drinking is NOT allowed during work...) to all of you 40 hours a week craftsmen. Because let's be honest, we are all craftsmen. Do you know how hard it is to quickly exit a facebook browser?

Friday, September 28, 2012

'21-Plus Pizza'

I need to get myself to Boston and try out one of these new alcohol infused pizza's from East-Coast eatery Salvatore's. The 'za, called the Vignola cherry pizza, is topped with alcohol-infused toppings and you need an ID to order it. Pizza and a buzz, for the price of one!


Kim Kardashian's Cat...

is fucking adorable. It's a 'Persian Teacup' named Mercy and was a gift from Kanye. It probably cost him one million dollars. I want one.


Old School Betty White

Forever a babe.

MORE Zac Efron!


Here's his appearance on Sesame Street.  Elmo is fucking annoying, I want more Zefron!!!!!!! The word of the day is Patience.  As in "I will have patience waiting for Zac Efron to sweep me off my feet!"

CUTE.

Now THIS is a way to sell a house!

The answer to everything:  Just take your clothes off!  DUH.

Zac Efron News Of The Day

Well Zac Efron is currently in the Philippines.  He's probably looking for me.  Zac - you really didn't have to go that far, I've been in LA this whole time!  Check out his picture taken near the Mayon Volcano in the Philippines.  You know what, now that I think about it, he's probably reaching out to my family over there to get his permission to marry me.  Yup, makes sense.


Thursday, September 27, 2012

PWNED.

No seriously, what do you do?


Ultimate Hipster Status...

...Achieved.


Hot Cheetos and Takis

Did I write this song?  BEST SONG EVER.


Just a tad off...

Hmm...


My new backpack this season

WHO WANTS TO HANG OUT


Worst/Best Death Scene Ever Filmed

This is the greatest thing I've seen all week.

I hope my girlfriend never does something like this.

This is fucking creepy.  Apparently this woman made this for her husband to share at their wedding reception.  It's just your typical say-anything-you-want-and-not-have-it-be-a-real-song kind of song, ya know?


Pitch Perfect

UMM who is excited to see this new movie?! I totally am. I'm really hoping it's like Bridesmaids but with singers. And I am loving that large Australian girl. Who's coming to see this with me?

Phone Game

I support this 100%. Live in the MOMENT or PAY!


Jimmy Fallon and some dudes do an amazing medley of TV theme songs.

AMAZING.

PS The internets are slow today...I would look up who these guys are but I just don't really care right now.


One Direction Uggs


Yup, One Direction have their own Uggs.  They're only available in Australia - better get your plane ticket now!  These will go FAST.


Jwoww is engaged ya'll!

Welp, another Jersey Shore member is off the market - Jenny Jwoww is engaged to her Jersey lover Roger.  And yes, Snooki will most likely be her maid of honor.  I smell another spin-off...


This is fake, right?

I mean, you can't possibly steal a car like this...

Toy Story 3 Prank

I would have DIED if I saw this alternate ending...


Headline on Huff Post

YUP.  She's officially baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Stingray Photo Bomb

This picture is fantastic on so many levels.


Blue Ivy's Bedazzled Shoes

Suri Cruise better watch out because Beyonce and Jay Z's daughter Blue Ivy is only 8-months old and already has a sweet pair of bedazzled shoes. What ever happened to bedazzling? Let's bring it back.


First Disneyland Ticket Ever Sold

Back when it cost $1 to get in. Now, tickets cost $81.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Jaden Smith's "The Coolest"

Is there anything Will Smith's kids can't do?! Geezus.  This asshole's 14 years old.  You know what I was doing when I was 14?  I was picking my nose and trying to steal corn nuts from my parents secret stash of snacks.


Remember how amazing science projects were?


Camel Toe-lor Swift

Camel Toe.  WHOA.  MAJORLY.




Jersey Baby

This baby is real. His name is Lorenzo and his mother is New York Times Best Selling Author Snooki.


Bristol's Weight Loss

My mother informed me last night while watching "Dancing With the Stars" that Bristol Palin (apparently she is a contestant on the 'All Stars' season) is now skinny. So, I wanted to share with you all that Sarah Palin's 21-year-old daughter has lost weight. You're welcome!
These pictures below looks like two completely different people. Good for you, Bristol!


WARNING: There is a BACON shortage.



The British National Pig Association (those exist?) is warning people that there will be a global shortage of bacon and pork because of shrinking herds...

You guys.

Not.
Enough.
Bacon.

They warn it is just a "reduction" which may cause prices to go up more than double.  You better stock up now!  More importantly, what is this kid going to do?!

Ke$ha has a new single!

It's your typical Ke$ha song - so basically you'll be dancing your butt off to it and listen to it all the time and have it stuck in your head all the time - but you won't admit that you like it EVER.

Learning the lyrics now...BRB.

Caption This!

I have no idea what's going on - but if you have a good explanation, please let me know.


Good Question.




Obama Vs. Romney Video Game!

Blah blah blah...they all say the same thing.

OMG.

I will always and forever love Uncle Jessie.




T.Hanks for the Emmy!

Tom Hanks won an Emmy and taped it to his car and went for a joy ride.  WHY DO AWARD SHOWS STILL EXIST?!  Just post that shit online and send them a gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse.  I'm sure I'd be very happy to win a Teen Choice Award surfboard but I already get lazy transporting my bed whenever I move - who needs an Emmy?!


Dear Romney,

You're doing it wrong.  You can't hire people to register people to vote but only if they're voting for you.  THIS IS TERRIBLE.  You really need to re-evaluate some things sir.

Sarah Silverman - VOTE!

Sarah Silverman explains the super fucked up laws that are inhibiting people from voting...Get educated folks!


Monday, September 24, 2012

Brad Pitt's First Commercial

Apparently, Pringles are the fever reliever. Also, I'll go ahead and say what we all know...Brad Pitt is a BABE. Def the OG Zefron.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Amy Poehler are Funny.

Last night at the Emmy's (Yes, I was watching. No, I don't know why) I had the pleasure of watching one of the only funny things to happen throughout the show. Julia Louis-Dreyfus won the Emmy for Best Actress in a Comedy Series and 'accidentally' read Amy Poehler's acceptance speech. These ladies are funny. And even though I was rooting for Amy to win, I can never not appreciate Julia, in whatever role she is playing. Here's a clip from last night:

Vom

This is the grossest baby shower cake ever created.


Myspace is coming back from the dead


When Justin Timberlake buys part of your company, you know he's not going to let it go to waste.  Check out the sneak peek vid for the new Myspace...if you're not interested, perhaps seeing A LOT of Justin Timberlake will entice you!  It's very Pinterest meets Spotify.....I'm kind of excited.

An 83 Year Old Rapper

Apparently he can still do it.  By it, he's talking about the sex.


Austin, TX Police Officers: It gets better

This is pretty inspiring.  Police officers in Austin, TX and their supporters tell the LGBTQ community that "It gets better."


The best dad in the world

Watch this father send his son's favorite toy to space...amazing!  It makes me want to attach a camera to everything...


Jill Biden makes a penis joke

Everyone is a pervert.  Even the vice president's wife.  Scratch that, everyone is just really immature.  "That's what she saaaaaid."


PSY is also a Single Lady

I think this was a deleted scene from Glee.

Happy 25th Anniversary Full House!

The cast reunited to celebrate their anniversary.  Of course the Olsen twins were not there. They're too cool, remember?!














Gorillas and Caterpillars

Always a great combination!  Look how fascinated they are!!!

Remember when Flava Flav thought Miley Cyrus was Gwen Stefani?

Good thing it was caught on camera.  THIS WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

"Gweeeeen Stefaaaani!!"

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Endeavor

This was the best post I saw today.
"I need to upgrade my phone pretty soon. My Droid Charge doesn't take good pictures like an iPhone. Saw the Endeavor. Amazing!"


Amy Poehler plays karoke roulette

SHE'S AMAZING.  "I want your gloves."

TODAY IS A BIG DAY.

Today just keeps getting better and better.  First I find out that LMFAO broke up (!!!) then the following things happened:

The iPhone 5 is officially out.



The Endeavor Space Shuttle flew RIGHT BY my office!  This is pretty historic.  I learned that straight, white people cry when they see space shuttles.


BUT THE BEST THING ABOUT TODAY...IS THAT IT'S THE 21ST OF SEPTEMBAH.  Do you remembah?  The 21st night of Septembah?

LMFAO is breaking up

BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
Although, they say it's just "temporary."  I'm crossing my fingers........



Corey, you forgot to add this to your beverage accessories...

Yes, it's a bev buckle.  And it doesn't look awkward at all.




Thursday, September 20, 2012

Beer Accessories I Need to Purchase

Perfect for tailgating season.

Never put your beer down to visit the snack table again. 


Beer dispensing backpack helps you become the life of the party.


Beer Blaster Gun. Enough said. 


Remote Controlled Cooler. GENIUS for the lazy. 

Obama, Jay and B

But where is little Blue Ivy?!


Fiona Apple Arrested for Drug Possession

Somewhere in Texas on Wednesday, singer Fiona Apple was arrested for drug possession after authorities claim they found hash on her tour bus. She's currently being held at the Hudspeth County Jail.

Is anyone surprised? Why is this shit still illegal? Best of luck, Fiona. We need you out of jail soon to keep recording bad ass songs like this...

Office Lyfe

We all know this guy...

Everyone Loves the 90's

Come back.


Lindsay Nohands.

People on the internets are getting weird.