Oh snaps.

Welcome to the internets. Where most of you spend countless hours during the week. We get paid to sit in front of the computer and pretend to do work, but really, we're finding out what Lindsay Lohan had for breakfast and googling awkward pictures of cats. Here's a toast (a blog toast because drinking is NOT allowed during work...) to all of you 40 hours a week craftsmen. Because let's be honest, we are all craftsmen. Do you know how hard it is to quickly exit a facebook browser?

Monday, January 31, 2011

CALLING ALL PEOPLE THAT LAY DOWN!!!

After the success of this weekend, we are going to start a Lying Down Game Picture of the Day.  We had so many pictures this past weekend, it's hard to choose just one.  Here are some of my favorites.  But first, here is THE FIRST LYING DOWN PICTURE OF THE DAY.  Submit your pictures to WorkItLA@gmail.com or through facebook (www.facebook.com/WorkItLA).  We look forward to seeing your awkwardness!!!

[The Disney Land courtesy of Corey + Dan]





Michael Jackson is alive and is a taxi driver in Brazil.

Ok, maybe not, but this guy is REALLY good.  Check him out.  He beat boxes AND sounds exactly like him.  He's probably the one recording MJ's "new" album...

Does it come with the house?

If you're going to advertise your house for sale, you should maybe double check the pictures...


Facebook photo of the day.

Posted on Sunday, a friend's caption reads "It's not every Sunday you leave church and find this on your tire.  Wow."

Whoa. Looks like he really is the OLDER brother.

The guy who plays Hannah Montana's older brother is really fucking old!  I mean, he plays a fucking 16 year old kid and take a look how old he is?!!  Oh Hollywood - how you fool me.  8 year old girls have a crush on this kid, err, I mean MAN.  WTF?!!!

Hey Egypt - You should listen to this girl.

She makes some pretty valid points.

Monday night fun!

Peter Bjorn and John (aka PB&J), the famous indie Swedish band is playing a live FREE show at Bardot tonight as part of their "It's a school night" program.  Every week, a new band plays a free show.  They even throw house parties and have the bands play right there in the living room!  It's a pretty legit deal.  For more info, visit http://www.itsaschoolnight.com.  Check out my favorite single from PB&J - "Let's call it off".  SO GOOD!

"I'M VANESSA CARLTON BITCHES!!!"

I would like to wish my favorite fellow blogger, Corey Hastings, a fucking HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

After that being said, I'd like to recount the events of last night.  Corey & Co went to the Geisha House for dinner.  Afterwards, we went to the W hotel for their jazz night.  Corey blogged about this before and it was actually really cool.  Celeb sightings of the night:  Macy Gray and Vanessa Carlton.  Haha, serious about Macy Gray but Vanessa Carlton was actually Corey.  I made this realization years ago - she is V Carl's dobbleganger. No joke.  I think they were separated at birth.  Last night, Corey screamed at the top of her lungs "I'M VANESSA CARLTON BITCHES!!" as we chanted One hit wonder! One hit wonder!!.  It was pretty amazing.  The bartender even gave her a free shot (he must've been a big V Carl fan).  The best part of the night?  Becoming good "friends" with security because we were Ke$has.  All in all, a memorable night - Ke$ha would be so proud.  Go Vane$$a Carlton!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Baby Safe Haven Rap

If you have a baby don't know what to do....


Baby Safe Haven can help you choose.

TGIF!!

This is Idaho news.

And it's looking crappy.

Happy Friday!



Officially. Bamboozled.

In my auto-tune voice: T-Pain Likes The FB...

T-Pain likes Facebook.  And he likes the "Like" button.  You don't believe me?  He has it TATTOOED.  It reminds me of the time I got that Myspace tattoo...


UPDATE: 10 bucks to the first person to call this person...

After this POST yesterday, my brother texted me and said I owed him $10.  Why?  Because him and his girlfriend called the number (See picture below).  Alas, I don't think they were the only ones who called because the number was officially disconnected.  Dammit, I was hoping to have a real conversation with this guy - maybe even spark a friendship.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Would you like to try some yogurt?

A woman in Albuquerque, New Mexico claims she went to take a yogurt sample at a local supermarket and immediately spit it out because it tasted like SEMEN.  The man who was handing out the free sample ended up going to jail (for different warrants).  Story is still developing...it's going to be a couple of days until we find out if it indeed is sperm.  I know - why don't you have Pam Anderson test it out...I'm sure she'll be able to tell within seconds.

Overheard on G-Chat (Take 4)


LB: do you know what a Biebertini is?
Corey: um, no?
LB: virgin martini with coconut cream, pineapple juice and strawberries.

US SKINS?!

I know, I already talked about this topic.  But I'm not going to lie, this week's episode was kind of really good.  Probably because it was a lesbian story line and I tend to be bias towards those.  Anyway, you should watch it.  One, because I don't agree with the fact that companies are pulling their ads because they think Skins is "child pornography." This is what I have to say to America - GROW SOME BALLS.  We are young.  We party.  We have sex.  And we do drugs.  Get over it.  So as a big fuck you to America, the FCC, and the conservative bastards who don't really want to know what's going on under their roof - Watch Skins.  It's on MTV (and available for free online!).  But really only watch Episode 2 because Tea is super hot.

Wait...this is cool...

Mermaid bed.  I wonder what weird fantasy this fulfills...

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

SLOW WEEK take 2.  All of the trending "News" topics are the fact that Lady Gaga released lyrics to her new song "Born this way".  Umm...okay.  I guess I'll just read these lyrics and try to guess what the actual song sounds like...




INTRO:
It doesn’t matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
’cause you were Born This Way, Baby
VERSE:
MY MAMA TOLD ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG
WE ARE ALL BORN SUPERSTARS
SHE ROLLED MY HAIR AND PUT MY LIPSTICK ON
IN THE GLASS
 OF HER BOUDOIR
“THERE’S NOTHIN WRONG WITH LOVIN WHO YOU ARE”
SHE SAID, “‘CAUSE HE MADE YOU PERFECT, BABE”
“SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP GIRL AND YOU’LL GO FAR,
LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY”
CHORUS:
I’M BEAUTIFUL 
IN MY WAY
‘CAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY
DON’T HIDE YOURSELF IN REGRET
JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU’RE SET
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY
POST-CHORUS:
OOO THERE AIN’T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
OOO THERE AIN’T NO OTHER WAY
BABY I WAS BORN-
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY
DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE A DRAG -JUST BE A QUEEN
DON’T BE!
VERSE:
GIVE YOURSELF PRUDENCE
AND LOVE YOUR FRIENDS
KID, REJOICE YOUR TRUTH
IN THE RELIGION OF THE INSECURE
I MUST BE MYSELF, RESPECT MY YOUTH
A DIFFERENT LOVER IS NOT A SIN
BELIEVE CAPITAL H-I-M (HEY HEY HEY)
I LOVE MY LIFE I LOVE THIS RECORD AND
MI AMORE VOLE FE YAH (LOVE NEEDS FAITH)
REPEAT CHORUS + POST-CHORUS
BRIDGE:
DON’T BE A DRAG, JUST BE A QUEEN
WHETHER YOU’RE BROKE OR EVERGREEN
YOU’RE BLACK, WHITE, BEIGE, CHOLA DESCENT
YOU’RE LEBANESE, YOU’RE ORIENT
WHETHER LIFE’S DISABILITIES

LEFT YOU OUTCAST, BULLIED, OR TEASED
REJOICE AND LOVE YOURSELF TODAY
‘CAUSE BABY YOU 
WERE BORN THIS WAY
NO MATTER GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI,
LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED LIFE
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE
NO MATTER BLACK, WHITE OR BEIGE
CHOLA OR ORIENT MADE
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN TO BE BRAVE
REPEAT CHORUS
OUTRO/REFRAIN:
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!
I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK BABY
I WAS BORN THIS WAY HEY!

10 bucks to the first person who calls this person...

Catapulting Marijuana Over the Border

Apparently, there is a new way to smuggle marijuana over the Arizona-Mexico border. Recently, Mexican officials seized 45-pounds of weed, an SUV and-get this-a CATAPULT. Yes, they were catapulting packages of pot over the boarder.

Can't say it's not clever. It might even be the most creative way to smuggle drugs over the border yet.

The smugglers got away before the officials could catch them, but authorities did release this video of them actually catapulting weed over the boarder.


Do you think there is some sort of "3 flies up" game going on on the other side of the border?

Edgar Allan Poe must be PISSED.

Look where you can find him...right next to the Snooki Monster.  Awesome.

Deal with it.

Yahoo! News did a riveting story on how President Obama got stuck in traffic last night because of the snow.  Really?!  Well President, you should try sitting in traffic EVERYDAY like most Americans.  Get over it.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Spotted...a real life dummy.

Here Lounge in West Hollywood offers an open bar every Wednesday from 8pm-11.  You pay $5 to get in then you drink until your little hearts desire (well until 11pm).  It's such a great deal!  I've gone a couple of times and it's definitely a money saver.  Especially if you show up right at 8pm.  And you order 2 drinks every time you go to the bar.  Last week I went and I saw a real life dummy.  Seriously, I was expecting to see a ventriloquist attached to this mother fucker.  Spotted was Kim Vo - hairstylist to the stars and judge on Bravo's Shear Genius.  He gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me I was fabulous - I left with more make up on then what I came with.  Thanks Kim!  You are a robot.

It's a slow day for me...

So slow that the news I have to offer is going to make you yawn.

Milton Levine, the creator of the ant farm died at the age of 97.  It's a sad day for...umm...well...his family.

WHO NEEDS A PLACE TO LIVE?


Ok, friends. It's crunch time.

My roommate Stephanie and I need a new roommate. Our friend, 3rd roommate and most frequent winner of the "Ke$ha Award" recently moved out to accept a job at Facebook and is now living in San Francisco. We have to fill her room. Like, ASAP. Like, by Febuary 1st.

So here is the deal, which one of you wants to live a CARTWHEEL's distance (not even a block) from the beach in Playa del Rey in a little community of homes called "The Jungle," with two rad chicks who happen to sit on a sofa given to them from Kevin Nealon.


This is the craigslist add-http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/roo/2182138441.html. Ch-ch-check it out!


Cochella Tickets are Sold Out

I hope you got yours!

I didn't.

I'm pissed! First you tell me that Kings of Leon is a headliner and NOW THIS?!

I bought mine last year in March. The fact that they sold out in a mere week is baffling. Scalping, ebay, craigslist here I come.

This is How They Picnic in Albania


I'm suggesting this to HR as to how the next company picnic should go down.

TOTAL Bummer for Whoever Received This

Pot Cookies for the Kiddies


In Covina, California, two girls ages 10 and 11 were hospitalized for feeling ill after eating a chocolate chip cookie they found on their kitchen counter.

Turns out, it was a pot cookie the mom had left lyin' around.

Are you kidding me?! What is she doin' keeping that thing out when the kids are home from school? No shit your kids are going to eat it-it's a cookie. Cookies are delicious and children always want to eat them warm with milk.

Of course, they the mom remains in jail on $100,000 bail. She said she had a prescription for medical marijuana, but it turns out she doesn't. Big surprise.

Those poor girls. Weed is, after all, the gateway drunk. They'll probably be crack addicts by the time they're 14 and 15.

Mercado-Is This Your Car?



The epitome of Ke$ha.

Umm...what the fuck is this?  Ke$ha is SO WEIRD!!!

HAPPY HUMP DAY!

NSFW - 

To see a naked picture of Betty White (circa 1940!) continue reading...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I will be playing this game all weekend.

It's called the LYING DOWN GAME.  This is Ellen Page playing the game very well in NYC.  What a gal!!








MEAN GIRLS 2!!

Did you guys watch?!!!  No worries, someone wrote down all of the funny stuff:

Hmm...

This is a picture of Jay Leno convincing Kathie Lee Gifford to take a keg stand.  She obliged.  Hence, this picture.

We all do it...don't feel bad.

Kim Kardashian only likes to keep ONE arm warm.

Please don't allow this to be a trend.  I like both of my arms warm.  And how awkward does that guy look behind her?  It's like he's attached to the arm warmer.

Grab me one of those Soda Pots please

A California man (Clay Butler) is going to market a line of medical marijuana soft drinks.  His flavors include Canna Cola, Doc Weed (like Dr Pepper), Sour Diesel (lime flavored), Grape Ape and Orange Kush.  Cute.  I hope little kids find the new flavors/bottles appealing!  Best.Babysitting.Tool.Ever.

Italy: Be prepared, there's about to be a Situation.

MTV announced that the 4th season of their hit series Jersey Shore will be filmed in Italy.  They've scared the locals of Seaside Heights and didn't quite fit in with the Miami crowd, but now it's time to conquer the world - literally.  Snooki and crew will head to Italy soon to start filming.  The new season is to be aired later this year.  What do you think?  Do you think this is a good idea?  How will the Italians feel about this?!  I'm not going to lie - I will definitely be watching...

White People Rapping Poorly

Here is a new website for you to check out. It's called "White People Rapping Poorly"

Their motto is: "Science has show that for every Eminem, there are approximately 598,467 white people that try to rap but can't. This is devoted to bringing you the best of the worst."

I can get behind that!

Here is "Blazin' Jazin," one of the rappers featured on their site. He's the definition of a white person rapping poorly. Enjoy!


Visit the website HERE!

...It's What's for Dinner


This is grossing me out. Happy Tuesday!

High School girl comes out in front of school

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr Day, Kayla K, a senior in high school came out in front of her peers during an assembly.  This is so inspiring, especially at a time when high school bullying has taken over these past few months.  Kudos to this girl!  You've done the gay community proud.

DREAM TEAM.

Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj have annouced a tour!  They will be headlining a nationwide tour starting this Spring.  Who wants to go??  I will buying tickets no matter what, so come join me and let's get our Weezy on with Her Minajesty.  Also on tour with them are Rick Ross, Travis Barker and Mix Master Mike.

Here are the dates in California:


Sat, Apr 23, 2011 at 7:00 PM Anaheim, CA United States Honda Center
Sun, Apr 24, 2011 at 7:00 PM Oakland, CA United StatesOracle Arena
Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 7:00 PM Sacramento, CA United States Arco Arena




Monday, January 24, 2011

Overheard on Gchat (take 4)

Me:  Are you doing anything tonight?
Corey:  NADA.
Corey:  Oh wait.  Gossip Girl is on.

An Oldie But Goodie

We stumbled upon this little gem a few years back and I haven't stopped watching it periodically since. This little girl as a plethora of videos on youtube of her kareoking pop hits into her webcam. She is hysterical. Her youtube account name is doglover199709 and I highly suggest you take a gander at all she has to show you.

But this one, a rendition of Rhianna's 'Disturbia" is surely the best.

Video's like this make me forever grateful that there was nothing like youtube and webcams around when I was 11 years old...

Pork Sliders and Boy Bands.

Now it’s no secret that when you live in LA, you are bound to run into someone famous or someone who used to be famous or someone who looks famous.  This past weekend, I went to go visit my friend’s restaurant Wood Ranch in the Grove.  I sat down to be greeted by my waiter – Trevor Pennick from O-Town.  O – Town!  Okay, O-Town wasn’t the biggest boy band ever, but they were pretty big.  Liquid Dreams anyone?  They were the OGs of Making the Band.  Their single “Nothing at all” is a favorite karaoke song of mine.  So you can imagine my surprise that Trevor was right in front of me.  No I was not at a concert sitting front row center, I was at the bar, front row center.  He even busted out in song singing some lyrics from Maroon 5!  I felt like I got the works!  While I was chowing down on the best rolls ever, mac and cheese, cole slaw (to die for) and pork sliders, my 13 year old self was high fiving my 24 year old self in excitement.  He revealed some top boy band secrets – they are indeed trying to have a reunion! So there you go – no matter how many records you’ve sold and sold out crowds you performed in front of, you might still end up a bartender.  Can you imagine???  What if one day I went to the Olive Garden and Lindsay Lohan was my server?  Two words:  BIG TIP.    


And now for your viewing pleasure, O-Town's song "Liquid Dreams".  I can't believe I didn't know what this song meant!!  




Overheard on G-chat (Take 3)

Keri: Nsync Pandora is a Monday life-saver

Rock on, girl.

Baby Spice announces engagement and poses with her ring awkwardly.

Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton announced via Twitter that her and longtime boyfriend Jade Jones were engaged.  They have decided "2 Become 1" by "Spicing up their Lives" and getting engaged.  She says, "It's exactly where I "Wannabe."  I knew it was real when I told him, "Say you'll be there.""  She doesn't want to "Stop" there - the two are expecting another baby in May.  If you ask me, her engagement picture is a little "Too Much."

Congrats to my favorite Spice Girl!  I'm still a little mad I wasn't chosen for MTV's "Fanatic."

Rollin' with the homies...

What happens when you crash 2 cars, get 2 DUI's, go to rehab 5 times and spend a week in jail?  Range Rover gives you a limited edition Onyx Range Rover (only 300 were made and it's worth $135,000!).  Lindsay Lohan was seen driving around LA this weekend in her brand new Range Rover.  Cool.  You know what I'm driving around in?  A Corolla coaster of Love.  I hate you Lindsay Lohan.

TAP THAT

If you haven't check out Ask The Rocker , it's time you do. A friend of mine is a rocker-extraordinaire with a killer voice, a killer 'do and tighter leather pant's than you've ever seen. He has set up a website where you can ask the Rocker any question you'd like and he'll answer you back via online-rocker video. It's pretty hilarious stuff.

A little while ago, the Rocker came to my dance studio to film his most recent video, TAP THAT. Someone asked the question, "do you ever dance," and well, he sure does. Check out the video below and visit his site for some laughs!!


And those feet at the end of the video doing the moonwalk? Those are mine. NBD.

BIG OPRAH NEWS!!

Oprah announced today that she has a half sister.  Her name is Cha Ching.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Aaron Carter goes to rehab for bad acne!

...Okay not for bad acne, but the former teen idol and younger brother of Backstreet Boys singer Nick Carter just checked into rehab for an unknown reason.  Nick Carter apparently has the addiction aura, as his bandmate AJ McLean checked into rehab last week as well.  It doesn't look like a good start of the year for Nick.  Why am I talking about Nick again?  Oh yeah, his lesser known brother.  Aaron was recently a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.  He's probably addicted to dance pants and glittered tops.  Get well soon Aaron!

Airplane etiquette.

Please don't ever bring a pillow this size on the plane.  It might get awkward.



Mercado's Laundry Day (Take 2)


Currently, I'm sitting at home with Mercado, drinking a bloody mary and waiting for her TWO MONTHS WORTH of laundry to finish.

If you don't recall, almost exactly two months ago she came over with a bundle full of laundry, wearing a Twilight shirt. She doesn't have a washer and dryer, and she brings me food to use mine. Well, today she showed up in another peculiar shirt. It's some sort of Lady Gaga on Acid. Here ya go:

While we wait, we're in the process of cooking a feast. Merc has been talking about this salmon she'd had for WEEKS, so we're cooking that up. We're also making stuffed mushrooms, green bean casserole, and caprese salad. Up next: watching Charlie St. Cloud on the projector.

These are the days of our lives....

Happy Sunday, ya'll!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

HAPPENING NOW!!!

ALERT THE PRESS!  ALERT THE STALKERS!  ALERT ALL KARDASHIAN FANS!!

Khloe Kardashian is calling people who vote for her husband Lamar Odom to go to the NBA All Star game.  Yup, even celebrities get bored on Saturdays.

Proof?  Follow Khloe on Twitter @KhloeKardashian for all of the up to the minute tweets and all of her adoring fans saying she really did call.

Bible.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Hi, I'm addicted to eating couch cushions...and I'm not a dog.

Watch this insanely weird addiction this lady has - she's addicted to eating couch cushions!  It's from a new TLC show called "My Strange Addiction."  You know what?  I see myself getting addicted to this show!  Couch cushions?!  I'm trying to come up with my weirdest addiction and the worst one I can come up with is Cheetos.  Couch cushions 1; Cheetos 0.  You win weird lady!

Bust out your bikinis!

Scientists believe that in 2012 there will be TWO suns.  Although this is only supposed to be temporarily, it means there's a good chance there won't be night time for a few weeks.  How does this happen you ask?  Betelgeuse, one of the night sky's brightest stars is losing mass and fuel resulting it to turn into a super nova.  Does this mean all those Doomsday people were right?  Not exactly - this isn't a bad thing.  If anything, it's just more sunlight!  I just wouldn't schedule any plastic surgery during this time...