Oh snaps.

Welcome to the internets. Where most of you spend countless hours during the week. We get paid to sit in front of the computer and pretend to do work, but really, we're finding out what Lindsay Lohan had for breakfast and googling awkward pictures of cats. Here's a toast (a blog toast because drinking is NOT allowed during work...) to all of you 40 hours a week craftsmen. Because let's be honest, we are all craftsmen. Do you know how hard it is to quickly exit a facebook browser?

Monday, February 28, 2011

What do billionaires eat?

THIS.  Oh you know, just your typical Friday night dinner...

Jimmy Kimmel gets the hottest celebrities to hump a ball.

Imagine the following ladies humping a giant exercise ball:  Jimmy Kimmel you are a god.
Scarlet Johannsen, Jessica Biel, Sofia Vergara, Emily Blunt, Minka Kelly, Kelly Ripa (could have done without this one...), Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba.

This is the Best Dancing I've Ever Seen

Well that was amazing.

Cat Picture of the Day

A Woman and a Gun

Oh my god. How did she not shoot herself in the head?

Someone alert the rednecks that Guns are DANGEROUS!

Jack in the Box Shows Up to the Lakers Game

This past week, Jack in the Box and his son showed up at the Lakers vs. Clippers game sitting courtside.

Turns out that that the CEO of the Firm that does Jack in the Box's advertising, Dick Sittig, also happens to the be voice of and the guy in Jack's costume. Sittig's real son also plays Jack's real son.

In a bout of some pretty interesting marketing, Sittig and son watched the whole game from Staples Center's most primo seats wearing their Jack and Jack Jr. costumes.

Jack in the Box is an official sponsor of the Lakers, and if the team ever scores over 100 points and wins the game, everyone in attendance gets two free taco's. BTW-at Jack in the Box-those taco's are 2 for 99 cents. What a deal!

World's Harriest Girl.

The nickname "Monkey Face" has never been so true for the 11 year old.  Someone get this girl a razor!

Lying Down Picture of the Weekend

This is the Fremont Troll who lives under the Fremont Bridge in Seattle. Please note the happy family to the left who's picture I probably ruined.

Not cool escalator, NOT COOL.

Several injuries were reported when a busy metro escalator all of a sudden started speeding up.  People were hurtling towards the bottom of the escalator.  See the crazy footage below (wait for the :30 mark).  Holy shit the machines are really starting to hate us.

Willow Smith premieres new song

Oh Willow.  I had such high hopes for you.  I've been listening to "Whip My Hair" for the past 8 months.  It's the first song I like to play when I get in my car.  I've been anticipating your new stuff.  And you give me "21st Century Girl?"  Really?  Note:  IT IS NOT COOL TO PUT THE WORD "CHICA" IN A SONG.  Please don't let your dad take hold of your recording career.  We don't need to Get Jiggy Wit It, we need to Whip our Hair back and forth.  21st Century Girl?  Disney Channel Movie of the Week song.  Not Billboard top 40.  Ugh.  So disappointed. 

Lady Gaga dances in flip flops in her new video.

What do you get when you mix aliens, unicorns and placenta covered items?  The new Lady Gaga video for "Born this way"!  Umm, seriously, I love the Gaga, but she's losing it.  In her attempt to constantly be different and "out there," she's coming off a bit too, dare I say it...weird.  Seriously though, she's losing it.  My face when I watched this video?  It was the "did someone just fart" face.  You know what I'm talking about.  I'm so confused with what she is trying to accomplish with her Madonna-esque song.  Lady Gaga, please take it down a notch.  And just because Old Navy had a sale on flip flops, doesn't mean you should awkwardly dance in them. 

And the most awkward Oscar moment goes to...

Kirk Douglas.  The 94 year old legend was brought out to present the best supporting actress award.  Welcome to the most awkward 10 minutes of your life.  I didn't know whether it was okay to laugh or cry.  And you can tell everyone in the audience had no idea what to do either.  Did you see him?  I seriously thought he was going to die on stage.  Old people and award shows don't mix...especially when you have James Franco and Anne Hathaway (boringtown, USA) host it.  Wow.  "Great" choice Oscar.

The best part of the Oscars?

When they autotuned scenes from some of the nominated films.  I knew T-Pain was good for something...this was pretty genius.  It made the 5 hours of the award show a little more bearing...

Friday, February 25, 2011

Wanted Bank Robber!

And he looks exactly like Tracy Morgan.  Oops.  A man is wanted in Texas for robbing a few banks.  Cameras captured a picture of him and he looks exactly like famous comedian Tracy Morgan.  Let's hope Tracy has a good alibi.

How does this make you feel?

I think the world needs to have a Facebook Intervention...stat.

"Lady" really loves Brett Michaels

...but ISN'T a fan of dental hygiene.  Just sayin'.  Great song!

Russian Wedding Photos

It's all the rage for Russians to have the most awkward wedding pictures.  You win Russia!  Imagine their divorce pictures...

Chubby boy is magnetic.

A boy in Serbia is magnetic. His father sticks pieces of metal and plates on him everyday for show and tell. I would like to see him loose at a hardware store.

American Idol announces top 24

After much hesitation with watching American Idol, I must say...this season is pretty fucking great.  Why?  Two words - Steven Tyler.  Don't you just love when they let drug addicts be on TV?  It's pretty amazing.  They announced the top 24 contestants which include Sideshow Bob, Ronnie from Jersey Shore, Adrien Brody, Ke$ha, Lea Michele and the remaining members of Destiny's Child.  See if you can spot them in this video...

What I would give to be Elton John's son.

Elton John has just announced that Lady Gaga will be godmother to his son Zachary.  I am fuming in jealousy.  Imagine all of the gaymazing costumes the Lady will bless this child with!  Do they make meat dresses in infant sizes?  Just wondering.

Is it just me or....

...does new couple Chord Overstreet (from Glee) and Taylor Swift (serial dater) look more like brother and sister than a couple?  I wonder how cray cray Naya Rivera will get (they apparently hooked up in Vegas and she's been oogling him ever since).  Why am I writing about this?  Oh yeah, because Chord Overstreet has really big lips and Taylor Swift has really small ones.  They must have really shitty makeout sessions.

Ke$ha and James Van Der Beek?

Watch another very ABSURD video from our #1 homegirl Ke-dollarsign-ha.  WTF?  I love Dawson though...but so RANDOM.  Oh KeshBallz, you never cease to amaze me.

I think this is why lesbians hate bubble tea...


A child's first time swearing is probably the best thing ever.  Well fucking shit, enjoy...

Kathy Griffin lands new boyfriend?

...And it's the OLD SPICE GUY!!  At first I thought it might be a publicity stunt for her show, "My life on the D list," but her show is no longer on.  This might actually be legit...but HOW?  WHY?  Apparently they've been together since last August.  Imagine how good he smells...Hey Kathy - have you ever heard of the website www.WhosSettling.com?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Umm mom...you have something on your upper lip.

Kanye's abortion views.


I'll take the Poo Poo platter please...

The Marton Restaurant in Taiwan is one to truly give a crap about.  Everything is TOILET themed.  Yes, I said toilet.  Patrons sit on toilets while eating out of toilet bowls.  Don't believe me?  Watch the video below.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?! How is this a good idea?  Apparently the food is really good.  But still, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself how far you want to take it to eat good food...

Sarah Donner and the Sleepy Kitten


Kittens with blue eyes who are sleepy. Is there ANYTHING better to watch at 10:54 on a Thursday?

Sarah Donner doesn't have a bad voice either. How pleasant.

Old Man Lightsaber Duel

Some of you will probably find this entertaining....so I'll just leave it right here....

(Side note: I am currently in the process of actually watching Star Wars for the first time in my life. There, I said it. I'd never seen it.)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


This is a failure of epic proportions:

Let's break down the problems here:
#1. He proposes to her in front of the Cinnabun at a FOOD COURT in the MALL
#2. He plays his girlfriend, Caroline, the shittiest rendition of the much overplayed and cliche "Sweet Caroline"
#3. He says to her "I am dizzy in your presence"
#4. There is a table of 6 senior citizens directly next to him as he is proposing
#5. Did I mention he did this in front of a CINNABUN??


Lying Down Game picture of the day

Submitted from my brother Chris and his friend Wakefield while visiting the Chicago Museum of Natural History.  This picture is EPIC.

This is why lighting is so important...

Penis...or knee?  How embarassing.

Bieber gets another haircut - teen boys and lesbians rush to the barber.

Bieber got another haircut.  He looks like Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry."  Lesbian.

The Real Simpsons!!

Not bad, not bad. What if the Simpsons was actually a reality tv show?

Whoopi Goldberg has a sharting poo-roblem.

Whoopi Goldberg is now the new spokesperson for Poise - pads that people wear when they shart.  She says in the commercial that 1 in 3 women have this problem.  Well Whoopi, 3 in 3 women don't admit this problem and do a commercial about it.  What a shitshow.

Hello, my name is Facebook.

A man in Egypt has named his newborn son Facebook.  I KID YOU NOT.  As an ode to the past struggles of Egypt, he felt the need to celebrate with the awkward name.  Apparently Egypt can shut down Facebook but not stop people from naming their children it.  Jokes on you Egyptian government!!  I'm going to name my child after my favorite site - please welcome, Freeporndotcom.

LiLo gets offered plea agreement...

...but DENIES it.  According to her plea agreement, the DA offered her 6 months in jail to avoid going to court. She has denied her plea bargain and will be attending court for the next few months which could result in more than 6 months jail time.  In other news, I came up with a great name for a bar - Court.

Lying Down Pictures of the Day

This is Daniel and I in San Francisco on Fell Street. As we were taking the pictures, some guy walked by and yelled, "Hey! You Fell on Fell!"
I did not fall, sir. I was lying.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Uggs Just got Uglier

Swarovski is now bedazzling them with expensive diamonds in the form of famous cities including LA, NY, DC, London, Vegas and Miami. They cost $800-900 bucks.


Who in their right mind would purchase these? Uggs are comfy and all, but bedazzled uggs? I have better things to spend 800 dollars on. Like rent. And Beer.

Animal Beatbox


The Lion King Hula

Just a little 4PM Pick-Me-Up...Thanks, Brad!!

The Sandlot Reunion

On the left: Alan "Yeah-Yeah (I take lots of steroids)" McClennan
On the right: The fat kid who liked marshmellows. I think his name was "Ham"

What a reunion!

Overheard on G-Chat (Take 8)

"And he owns his own house, is super close with his family, has a decent job, a college education and all his teeth, which is a big deal around here"

-Lovely little lady living in Idaho.

9-Day Hunger Strike Continues

Are you kidding me?!

Estibalis Chavez, 19 year old Mexican woman, has posted up in front of the British embassy in Mexico City and is not eating until she receives an invite to Prince William and Kate Middleton's Royal Wedding. This is currently her ninth day of the hunger strike.

She claims, "I have been a fan of Lady Di since I was a little girl. My mother was also a fan...I promised myself I would go to the next royal wedding."

Well, she's been askin' for an invitation and says she won't eat until she bloody-well gets it. Which is just plain retarded.

Don't people have anything better to do? Like google cat videos? Or read our blog? Someone tweet her a link.
I'd go on a hunger strike for one of these mugs...


Jay-Z Would Be Proud

Lying Down Picture of the Weekend

I received this picture in a text on Friday from my friend Phil. He was at Gasser Lounge in Redondo Beach and had a friend snap the picture right after he got on top of the bar.

I'm LOVING the lying-down-on-the-bar pictures. I wonder if this pissed the bartender off? Who cares! Get on that bar and send us your pics!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Extreme Ironing

This. Is. Brilliant.

Extreme Ironing. The next best thing to the Lying Down game.

Apparently, players of the game take ironing boards and irons to remote locations and take pictures of themselves IRONING. There have been willing participants who have lugged ironing boards and irons to the likes of the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, on Bike races and to the bottom of the ocean. What an amazing concept!

They've even made a documentary about the game following Extreme Ironers all over the world.

Will YOU be playing?

WHY Didn't I Think of This??


So THAT'S what it stands for! I never knew...

Cat Bowling

Cats are so fun to fuck with.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Better than Bieber

Lady Gaga Tweeted this video today, and it's pretty incredible. Rock on, homegirl!

Ke$ha on Tour

This was Ke$ha's most recent tweet:


with a link to this picture....

This Weekend in LA

Fun things to do this weekend:

Sunday: Bobby Brown Concert at the Key Club

Sunday: 23rd Annual Los Angeles International Pen Show at the Manhattan Beach Marriott

Just kidding, those are terrible suggestions.

In Other News...

Rod Stewart and his wife are having a baby. Yes, he is having ANOTHER baby and he is 66 years old.

His wife, Penny, is 40...which isn't as young as I thought she'd be. But STILL. What is he doing having an EIGHTH CHILD. Yes, you heard me correctly. This is baby number 8 for Rod.

Is he even relevant anymore? I mean, we all loved "Forever Young" and and "Maggie May", but shouldn't he be playing golf, getting fat and playing grandpa?

What's Going On Here??


Insane Swimmer

This guy win's a swim-meet backstroke competition by dolphin kicking underwater the ENTIRE length of the pool. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

This Will Never NOT Be Funny.

They call this "Leonardo DiHapprio" or the "Leo Strut"