Happy "Bump" Day

Mariah Carey is on the cover of Life & Style wearing nothing except her twins.  No not those twins!  But literally...her twins.  Apparently she's taking a bunch of photos to hang around her house.  This pose is so awkward...HAPPY BUMP DAY!

Overheard in a kitchen...

When I asked if their pet goldfish was a lesbian,

Corey:  Do fish have sexes?

Boat

So this morning, as I'm making coffee before work, I hear Daniel say from the living room, "someone shipwrecked in your yard."

"What are you talking about?" I say. Then I look outside the window and what do I see? A boat.

Someone had left a BOAT on our patio. We had a few friends over last night for some wine and appetizers and the next thing I know, there is a boat on the patio. As I ponder this, one thing comes to my mind: MERCADO.

Her and our friend Kareem were amongst the guests over last night and I knew from the moment I saw that boat that she was the one who left it.

Well, turns out, it was. As she and Kareem were leaving last night, they stumbled upon this boat and decided it'd be best placed on our patio. So now, we have a boat.

Keri's take on the boat? "We could paint WorkItLA.com on the side and float it around as a promotional piece."

That's a great idea. Be on the lookout for the WorkItLA boat floating around a marina near you!

Desperation at it's Finest.

Fear not, children! Heidi Montag has a new reality show on the horizon!

Alongside Jake Pavelka from The Bachelor and some random lady from Real Housewives of NY, Heidi and the gang will be renovating a restaurant together. WTF. What could these three know about renovating a restaurant? Who comes up with this shit?

Keripedia brought this news story to my attention and proceeded to call the trio a "nuclear bomb of ass hats." I'd have to agree with that one, Ker.

Just an FYI

Elton John has asked Lady Gaga to be his son Zac's godmother.

(Also Noteworthy: the kid's full name is Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish John).

Kurt Cobain Lives!!

Oh wait, that's 2Pac.

Anyway - here is a recap of Kurt Cobain's 5 most unforgettable moments: Click HERE to get the details...

1. He shows up at the 1992 Reading Festival in a wheelchair.

2. He wears "Corporate Magazines Still Suck" T-shirt to a Rolling Stone shoot.

3. He weds Courtney Love in his pajamas.

4. He imitates Morrissey.

5. Well you know how it ends

Still a Cobain Fan

I can't be a true Seattlite today without mentioning Kurt Cobain's death 17 years ago today.  I wish I could sit on his bench in front of his Lake Washington house, stay at his favorite motel on Aurora and have a few beers at Linda's in his honor.  Hey, at least we have Courtney?

The BEST tequila faces...

We've all been there...that expression on your face after taking a tequila shot.  You can just feel the pain from watching someone's reaction.  Here are some good ones:

And of course...

Mine was taken when I got Drunk of the Week - a very honorable recognition by The Stranger in Seattle.

Another Ke$ha Ke$ha.

Want to listen to Ke$ha without auto-tune?  I must warn you though - it's SO BAD.  And not bad in a good way, legitimately HORRIBLE.  She needs to either get fucked up and sing Rolling Stone covers or add so much auto-tune that we can't understand her words.  There's no happy medium for KeshBallz.

I can't stop laughing...

Watch this video.  It's another episode of Britain's "Bizarre ER" where this girl can't close her mouth.  It looks like she's giving the stink face the entire time...and saying "Oh my gahhh".  I feel so bad for her, but it's so so so SO FUNNY.

I promise you...

...this was NOT me!

Don't get drunk...

...and continue to buy drinks and food for everyone.  A guy in New York posted his epic bar tab.  The funny thing is the majority of it is food.  I think my highest drunk tab was at Jack in the Box for $64...everything coming from the dollar menu.  Oops.  Corey was there! hahaha

Hot dog leash

This looks gross.  And I'm not just saying that because I'm a lesbian.  First of all, Bentley would be more focused on eating this than doing his business.  Second, really?!  Is this necessary?

Snooki's Prom Photo

This kind of shocks me...she looks normal.  I want to see Ke$ha's prom photos!!!!  Anyone have those?!

The accidental penis...

Overheard on G-Chat (Take 13)

Stephanie: so i had a dream that paulie d from the jersey shore was making out with me.

Stephanie, is that you??

Quote from The Food Network

Preach it, lady.

Listen to this: Quadron

May I introduce the Danish Duo 'Quadron.'

I first heard of the Duo when Daniel showed me their music video for the song "Slippin" that was shot by one of his friends. They are fantastic. Dubbing themselves 'electric soul,' the lead singer, Coco, rocks a uniquely modern look and has a voice on par with the Adele's sweet melodies. Musician Robin provides the electronic beats that lace the sounds together.

Cozz sent the video for "Pressure" over to me earlier today and it was a welcomed treat that I haven't stopped listening to yet. Watch and listen to the beautifully eclectic sounds of Quadron.

K-Fed's GF is Preggers

Remember Kevin Federline? How could you not! He knocked B-Spears up twice and now he's gone and knocked up another girlfriend! This will be his 5th child, he had two kids with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson before he got to Britney.

Wow! Look at that picture! "Hard to tell which one is pregnant" says my coworker Brian. He's right, guy could stand to lose a few LB's...just sayin'.

K-fed is 33 now. At the rate he's going he'll have more kids than Rod Stewart by the time he's 66.

Congrats, K-Fed and random lady!

Snooki at Wrestlemania

Happy Tuesday, friends! What better way to start the day then a video of Snooki wrestling some chicks at Wrestlemania? The video quality is kinda crappy, but you'll be able to see her do some flips and shit and knock another lady in the ring out. Enjoy!

(for better video quality, click HERE!)