Pop Music...Literally.

This guy is AMAZING!!! 

The Club Certainly Couldn't Handle Him

H to the Bizzay!

Happy birthday to my favorite lady ever!














And now an awkward video for your viewing pleasure (I made this last year, but it just so happens birthdays happen every year so voila!  It still works).

Mercado and Efron sittin' in a tree...

The rumors are true! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have officially broken up. Tweens everywhere are rejoicing that Charlie St. Cloud is now back in the dating game.

Especially our beloved blogger, Mercado, who once made me watch High School Musical in its entirety, SOBER. It was god-awful, and not nearly as rewarding as the time she made me watch an entire season of "The Simple Life." At least Nicole Richie is funny.

Mercado is so in love with Efron that at one point I was receiving text message pictures of him and his Bieber-cut, in different poses and shirtless, for several days in a row. She's worse than Perez Hilton and his undying love for the High School Musical Basketball Star.

To prove my point, take a little looksy at what SHE EMAILED ME TODAY.

Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. and Mrs. Efron

To sum up Corey's party...

I made made my Christmas sweater:

Raphy thought it was St. Patrick's Day.  

Corey posed like a Spice Girl in every picture.

Dan wore a scary mask.

And if you forgot to dress up all together, you just took your pants off.

All in all, it was a pretty epic party.  I love holiday parties!!

America's Sweetheart - Snooki.

It's weird to think that Snooki is someone's idol.  What happened to wanting to be the president of the United States?  Now kids wants to buy bump its and get arrested for public intoxication.  Go America!

Spotted: Terror Reid

Yesterday it was 85 fucking degrees in LA.  85!  In December!  Last year around this time, I'm pretty sure I was wearing 3 sweatshirts, a snuggie, long johns and a pair of sweats under my Jnco Jeans to keep warm (heat is expensive!).  Yesterday I was able to wear some Jorts (sans JEANS) and a tank top.  It was amazing.  My friend and I decided to hit up Venice beach to enjoy the sun and do some shopping/people staring.  And who did we happen to see?!!  TARA REID.

Some might know her from American Pie, but most just know her one hot mess - a Ke$ha if you will :)  The thing about this "celeb" sighting is that it has happened TWICE within a week.  Corey saw her on Thursday at a store where she was buying her New Year's Eve dress and immediately texted me about it.  And then my friend and I saw her on Sunday.  HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!!  What kind of weird ass sign is God trying to tell me? 

Let's try to break this down:
Tara Reid --> Has been -->  Used to be attractive -->  Now is a drunk/addict -->  Two people in my group of friends saw her just days apart -->  We like to party -->  WE WILL TURN INTO TARA REID.

OH MY GOD.  Say this isn't so!!!  It's a sign!  If I continue this lifestyle I will look like Tara Reid one day!  OH HELLLLLLL NO.

OR

Tara Reid -->  Has been --> Used to be attractive --> Now is a drunk/addict -->  Two people in my group of friends saw her just days apart (in Venice mind you) -->  HER DRUG DEALER LIVES IN VENICE.

Ok, this makes so much more sense.  Phew - I'm glad I solved that puzzle. 

FYI:  I shall describe what Terror looked like on that beautiful fine day in Venice beach:
- 80 lbs.
- flannel shirt
- Uggs
- Flared jeans OVER her uggs
- Make up made of ZITS.

Oh Tara...What happened?!!!

Sassy cat.

GloZell (Take 2)

THIS IS EVEN BETTER

GloZell

THIS IS AMAZING

It Only Snows for the Wealthy in LA

Per Mercado's suggestion, Daniel and I went down to Rodeo Dr. last night to check out the "snow in LA." Turns out, it was pretty neato. The "snow," some sort of soapy/foamy substance, was blasting out of snow machines high above the glitz and glam of Rodeo, falling on passersby and blanketing the palm trees lining the street. I'm sure you can only see snow-covered palm trees in this city.

They shut the entire street down so that anyone could leisurely walk back in forth across Rodeo without the hassle of watching for cars. The only exception were horse drawn carriages dressed in Christmas lights carrying people down the snowy street. It reminded me of a scene out of Cinderella when she was in that pumpkin on her way to the ball. It was enchanting at first glance, but probably cost somewhere in the vein of 100 bucks for a 15 minute ride. After all, we were in Beverly Hills-a place synonymous with $MONEY$.

The high-end stores were all open, keeping their doors ajar to serve complimentary champagne to customers admiring expensive clothes, purses watches and shoes. Everyone walking around was so fancy, and we even had a celeb sighting: that guy who plays Eric on "Entourage." He was really short. All in all, I must have seen 35 pairs of red-soled Louboutins walking around on the feet of some very lucky ladies. Not that I expected anything less from these Beverly Hill-ers. But I certainly didn't plan accordingly.

I was not walking around in expensive high heels. I was walking around in worn-out black boots, a leather jacket and a beanie on my head. I probably looked like a wanna-be hipster who lost her way amid All the Beautiful People. To top it all off, after I snuck into the bathroom of some elegant restaurant, I took my beanie off while I was washing my hands and placed it right in the soap dish that catches the residual soap after someone dispenses some. It was ALL OVER that hat. It looked like I had just stood under the god-damn snow dispenser for 6 hours. I had to walk out of that place, trying not to get caught, with hat-hair and a frothy beanie.

Point being, I need to work on my swank. Who want's to buy me a pair Louboutins??

Puff Puff Miley

Happy Friday! Click HERE to witness Hannah Montana smoke out of a bong. Miley Cyrus claims it's just salvia (shit you can buy at any tobacco store that supposedly is a psychedelic - but only happens to work for naive 14 year olds...).  Time to go back into hiding Miley!  Maybe you should just put on a blond wig with bangs and no one will ever be able to tell who you are...

Overheard in the office (take 11)

Corey: i fucking love ke$ha
Corey:  that's it. im purchasing her music on my itunes

Christmas Wishlist (3)

It's all I really want for Christmas

They Needed a Study for That?!

Thank God They Have an Instructional Video for this.

THANK YOU FOR THIS BRANDON.

Buildin' Forts

Who doesn't remember the days of building forts in your parents living room? Using plenty of pillow and blankets and various other house-hold items to assemble a little cave around the couch with siblings and friends was always one of my favorite past times. It was a serious challenge finding a way to hang sheets to the ceiling and hoping the couch cushions don't fall for the 65th time so that you can finally complete your fort. Ahh, it seems like yesterday.

And, it kind of was. Well, not yesterday, but just over a year go I was building one of the most epic forts I've ever built. Senior year of college, 8 girls living in a house in Seattle and one to many sets of sheets. One rainy Saturday we were all laying around on our big green couches deciding what to do. There was nothing good to do outside since it was pouring and we decided that the only logical thing to do would be to build a fort. FYI: We were sober.

Everyone brought down all their pillows, sheets and extra blankets and we went to town on that living room. Feeling crafty, we brought down various scarfs to hang the sheets from hooks on the ceiling. This shit was serious.

And then we spent the next week in our fort, drunk. We only left the fort for food and booze runs. I'm not sure anyone went to class that.....ahh, priorities.

Countless visitors stopped by to revel in this fort's greatness...or to revel in our oddness. I guess 22 year olds in a fort is weird to some people?

The moral of the story is-get off your butt and build a fort. Release that inner child. GO WILD!

Kind of cool...

There's an application on Facebook called "My Year in Status".  It basically makes a collage of all of your most popular status updates.  Mine were pretty good.  At least they didn't include where I put my purse or the stupid numbers game infesting newsfeeds right now.  What a crazy year, I can't believe it's almost 2011.  Where are the fucking hoverboards?!

  

It's going to snow in LA!!

[Fake snow...but regardless...SNOW!]

Don't get me wrong - I moved down here to get away from the rain and snow of Seattle, but I was a tiny bit jealous when my friends were telling me about their snow adventures.  A friend told me about this event happening tonight in Beverly Hills called 9-0-2-1-Snow.  Along Rodeo Drive, there will be 20 snow machines on all major buildings creating a blanket of snow.  YAY!  I mean...it's fake snow, but I'll do it. 

Passive aggressive notes.

If there's anything worst than passive aggressive people, it's a passive aggressive note, and even worse a passive aggressive text.  Which brings me to write this passive aggressive post.

I have a roommate.  And I would LOVE for him to find this.  He's not my "real" roommate.  He's actually just subletting for another month, so I'm not too worried about it.  Anyway, said roommate was probably the witness to one of the biggest disasters to hit LA this past weekend - my friends and I really drunk and on the verge of black out.

After returning from a night out (we had also been drinking all day for Apple Cup), we got back to my house and I'm not going to lie - we were super drunk.  And yes, probably being a little loud.  I was out walking Bentley when roommate came out and told my friends to be quiet (completely understandable).  One of my friends was a little out of it and said, "Fuck off" which of course caused everyone else to erupt in laughter.  I didn't even know this happened until the next day, when I received this text:

Hey so last night was awful.  I asked very nicely a couple of times for your friends (never saw you?) to try to be a little quieter, and it never happened.  Then around 2:15am I tried to ask kindly but no one even acknowledged me, so I had to yell "hey!" to get their attention, and then asked again.  I did not get a great response as you can imagine, I got cursed at and it got worse.  So I was supposed to be up at 6 to work at 8 for a 12 hour shift today.  On 3 hours of sleep that did not happen, thankfully I got someone to cover my shift.  Also more than an entire pizza is gone, so please replace that.  Thanks.


Do you see how long this text is?  Can you imagine it in real text form?  I had to scroll through pages!  Ok, I know what you're thinking - Dude, he has a point.  And I very well see it.  I apologized for the noise and the fact that my friends told him to fuck off (very rude...although kind of funny).  If it were me, I would've kicked them out (no offense).  But...and this is a big but...1) I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER AND IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO WAKE YOU UP FOR WORK.  I don't care if you had three hours of sleep.  Do you know how many times I've worked on 3 hours of sleep?  Get over it.  2) WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST TELLING ME THIS?  You wait fucking 24 hours to let me know this happened?  If it was so easy to get ahold of me the next day, why didn't you get ahold of me when it happened?  3) UMM REALLY?  A TEXT?  Even worse, a fucking LONG ass text that I had to take a break from reading because it was completely stupid and I got bored after 2 seconds?  All I can hear is blah blah blah.

I decided to play "nice" and give him back his precious pizza money.  Even though I know for a FACT my friend (a tiny girl) isn't capable of eating an entire pizza on her own.  A couple of days go by and I receive this note (written out) on the fridge:

Hey, do you know what happened to my EXPENSIVE bottle of wine?  I was hoping to drink it with a special friend.  Please return it.


First of all, no one ever says "expensive" when it really is an expensive bottle.  And judging by the SHIT that you eat (i.e. 4 pizzas in the fridge at all times, tv dinners and riceroni), I highly DOUBT you had an "expensive" bottle of wine.  And mind you - my friends drink beer and vodka (classy, I know) and we can afford our own "expensive" bottles of wine.  The LAST thing on our mind when we got home was drink wine.  Lastly, "special friend"?  Really?  No seriously, does this "special friend" know you refer to her as your "special friend"?  If she finds out, I doubt she will be "special" for much longer.  I'm sure she's just using you for your "expensive" bottles of wine.  Just sayin'.  Gotta watch out for those "special friends."

What's worse was that he deleted me off his facebook.  But you know who he didn't delete?  The love of my life - who told me the little twat bucket has been talking shit on his facebook about me!  At first I laughed, because really - he's THAT dude that writes stupid shit like "OMG my pizza is gone".  But now I'm just irritated and can't stand to look at him.  I want to find that bottle of wine SO BAD so I can drink it and leave it empty outside his door with a note that reads, "It's not what you think.  No one drank me, I just poured myself out because you're fucking lame."

Here's the moral of the story -
Don't write passive aggressive notes/texts to an Aries.  Especially this Aries.  I will make your life a living hell and make you feel so incredibly stupid for complaining about pizza and cheap wine...err I mean expensive wine.  GROW A PAIR AND TELL ME TO MY FACE ASS HAT.

I'm sorry you were late to work.  For us who have REAL jobs, the weekend is a getaway so we like to spend it with our friends and have some fun.  For you - work is a part time gig dealing with customers asking if you have a bathroom.  GET OVER IT.

And that my friends, concludes my passive aggressive post.

Welp, I'm off - I have an expensive bottle of wine to chug with my pizza.