If there's anything worst than passive aggressive people, it's a passive aggressive note, and even worse a passive aggressive text. Which brings me to write this passive aggressive post.
I have a roommate. And I would LOVE for him to find this. He's not my "real" roommate. He's actually just subletting for another month, so I'm not too worried about it. Anyway, said roommate was probably the witness to one of the biggest disasters to hit LA this past weekend - my friends and I really drunk and on the verge of black out.
After returning from a night out (we had also been drinking all day for Apple Cup), we got back to my house and I'm not going to lie - we were super drunk. And yes, probably being a little loud. I was out walking Bentley when roommate came out and told my friends to be quiet (completely understandable). One of my friends was a little out of it and said, "Fuck off" which of course caused everyone else to erupt in laughter. I didn't even know this happened until the next day, when I received this text:
Hey so last night was awful. I asked very nicely a couple of times for your friends (never saw you?) to try to be a little quieter, and it never happened. Then around 2:15am I tried to ask kindly but no one even acknowledged me, so I had to yell "hey!" to get their attention, and then asked again. I did not get a great response as you can imagine, I got cursed at and it got worse. So I was supposed to be up at 6 to work at 8 for a 12 hour shift today. On 3 hours of sleep that did not happen, thankfully I got someone to cover my shift. Also more than an entire pizza is gone, so please replace that. Thanks.
Do you see how long this text is? Can you imagine it in real text form? I had to scroll through pages! Ok, I know what you're thinking - Dude, he has a point. And I very well see it. I apologized for the noise and the fact that my friends told him to fuck off (very rude...although kind of funny). If it were me, I would've kicked them out (no offense). But...and this is a big but...1) I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER AND IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO WAKE YOU UP FOR WORK. I don't care if you had three hours of sleep. Do you know how many times I've worked on 3 hours of sleep? Get over it. 2) WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST TELLING ME THIS? You wait fucking 24 hours to let me know this happened? If it was so easy to get ahold of me the next day, why didn't you get ahold of me when it happened? 3) UMM REALLY? A TEXT? Even worse, a fucking LONG ass text that I had to take a break from reading because it was completely stupid and I got bored after 2 seconds? All I can hear is blah blah blah.
I decided to play "nice" and give him back his precious pizza money. Even though I know for a FACT my friend (a tiny girl) isn't capable of eating an entire pizza on her own. A couple of days go by and I receive this note (written out) on the fridge:
Hey, do you know what happened to my EXPENSIVE bottle of wine? I was hoping to drink it with a special friend. Please return it.
First of all, no one ever says "expensive" when it really is an expensive bottle. And judging by the SHIT that you eat (i.e. 4 pizzas in the fridge at all times, tv dinners and riceroni), I highly DOUBT you had an "expensive" bottle of wine. And mind you - my friends drink beer and vodka (classy, I know) and we can afford our own "expensive" bottles of wine. The LAST thing on our mind when we got home was drink wine. Lastly, "special friend"? Really? No seriously, does this "special friend" know you refer to her as your "special friend"? If she finds out, I doubt she will be "special" for much longer. I'm sure she's just using you for your "expensive" bottles of wine. Just sayin'. Gotta watch out for those "special friends."
What's worse was that he deleted me off his facebook. But you know who he didn't delete? The love of my life - who told me the little twat bucket has been talking shit on his facebook about me! At first I laughed, because really - he's THAT dude that writes stupid shit like "OMG my pizza is gone". But now I'm just irritated and can't stand to look at him. I want to find that bottle of wine SO BAD so I can drink it and leave it empty outside his door with a note that reads, "It's not what you think. No one drank me, I just poured myself out because you're fucking lame."
Here's the moral of the story -
Don't write passive aggressive notes/texts to an Aries. Especially this Aries. I will make your life a living hell and make you feel so incredibly stupid for complaining about pizza and cheap wine...err I mean expensive wine. GROW A PAIR AND TELL ME TO MY FACE ASS HAT.
I'm sorry you were late to work. For us who have REAL jobs, the weekend is a getaway so we like to spend it with our friends and have some fun. For you - work is a part time gig dealing with customers asking if you have a bathroom. GET OVER IT.
And that my friends, concludes my passive aggressive post.
Welp, I'm off - I have an expensive bottle of wine to chug with my pizza.
