Work It LA

Oh snaps.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Tara Reid confesses that wedding was fake!

Tara Reid shocked the world (AKA her 3 fans) when she announced she was married back in August. It turns out her no-name husband is a douche sponge and was only using her for a green card.

Dear Tara,

Are you surprised? Because I'm going to let you in on a little secret - no one else is. Homegirl, get your shit together and stop getting engaged and married every 3 seconds. You should have married Carson Daly when you had the chance...

THE KITTEN COVERS

Ladies and Gentleman, I have found the best Tumbler on the Internet!

*drumroll please*

THE KITTEN COVERS.

Basically, it's pictures of famous rock n roll album covers but...with kittens. ENJOY!

Justin's Beliebers

Remember when Mercado blogged about some girl named Mariah Yeater who is claiming that Justin Bieber is the babydaddy of her 3 month old? Well, Biebers Twitter 'Beliebers' (basically, his Twitter army consisting of 14 million tweens) aren't taking well to the babydaddy allegations.

Here are some of the tweets from these crazy tweens. I mean, sure, I had a big thing for Justin Timberlake when I was a tween but this is full-on NUTS:

@UnbrokenAriana: Mariah Yeater blames Justin Bieber 'cause she's pregnant...Oh#ThatsWhatHoesDo. Hoe.Bitch.Moneywhore.Slut...GO DIE BITCH ;@

@BeliebeZelle: Dear Mariah Yeater, please don't assume things if you don't have the facts. remember #14millionbeliebers are ready for the war (;

@iJDBiebersFan: Mariah Yeater is pregnant with Justin Bieber's child. Also, Barack Obama is white & Micheal Jackson is still alive living on a unicorn farm.

@BiebsInspires: Mariah Yeater tried to ruin @justinbieber's happiness about his new album! Cruel bitch! I don't normally cuss but she pushed me too far!

@TEAMBIEBERMANE: Mariah Yeater is pregnant with Justin's baby? Wait, hold on. Tupac is calling me.

@BelieberSwager: Mariah Yeater. Omfg. She needs Jesus and God.

KIDS THESE DAYS.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

GOD DAMMIT, SNOOKI

I just read this in GQ's interview with Snooki and immediately had to 1. facepalm and 2. share with you. This world is backwards.

GQ: So, I've got to ask: You've really never heard of J.K. Rowling or Maya Angelou?
Snooki: I don't read. I don't like to read Harry Potter or anything like that. It's not my style.

GQ: But you're a New York Times best-selling author!
Snooki: Yeah, doesn't mean I have to read.

GQ: Out of the GOP candidates, those that were rumored, dropped out or are still in it, who would you vote for?
Snooki: Donald Trump, I would vote for him. Trump would make this country better I feel. He gets shit done.

GQ: You have a camera on you nearly all the time these days. Is there anything we don't know about you?
Snooki: I don't think so. I just know that I'm going to be 98 pounds again and everyone can suck it

Read the whole interview [IF YOU DARE] here.

Don't forget to pick up some Scented Shoelaces...

New York-based company Apparel Dynasty is encouraging pre-teens to use their shoelaces as bracelets, belts, etc. WHY???? Oh yeah, because they're scented. You know, because I often myself looking at some laces and thinking to myself "Damn, I wonder what those smell like." C'mon, this is ridiculous.

Judge Sentences LiLo to 30 days in Jail!!

UH OH.

Lindsay Lohan has to spend another 30 days in jail for her probation violation. She is not eligible for any early release, house arrest, or any other excuse she has been using. Girl, you have a week to surrender! November 9th...you better escape to Mexico with the quickness.

UPDATE: Just found out the "job obligation" that LiLo has is her Playboy spread! This girl is a mothafuckin Ke$ha.

Snooki Wrote Another Book

Yes, Snooki wrote another book. And thus, ladies and gentleman, she has officially written TWO MORE books than I have (and probably you too). How is this FAIR? Her new book is called Confessions of a Guidette and she has invited us all to join the 'Snooki Style Revolution.' If you dare take part in what is likely to be the boldest revolution to date, join me in reading some excerpts:

“My biggest nightmare is waking up pale. Or without eyelashes.”

“A guidette has to know how to have fun anywhere. Like, if you’re stuck in a cardboard box, you have to rock it.”

“LOVE my slippers. It’s like wearing beds on your feet.”

“If you can smell hair gel from a mile away, it signals guido mating season.”

“I like to wear so many accessories that people are confused.”

“Guidettes are born with attitude. It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, skinny, round, or a Smurf, or what your background is, we put on our bronzer and we fricken rock our princess status. Like, get out of our way, we don’t care what you think. Unless you’re a mirror.”

God Dammit. It says "New York Times Bestselling Author" right there on the cover of her fucking book.

Sword Dancing

OMG you guys. I don't even know what I just watched. It's very well choreographed, but I keep waiting for that grandma to get a sword to the chest when homegirl accidentally throws the sword (spoiler alert: it doesn't happen). Where did this come from!? Is this like, a thing??

Baby Monkey and his Teddy Bear.

Umm this made me squeal! This baby monkey thinks the teddy bear is his mommy...

Happy Birthday, Nelly!

Nelly is officially 37 years old today! Happy Birthday, Nelly!

Fun Fact: I went to see a Nelly and Tone-Loc concert in Seattle a few years ago...but never actually ended up seeing Nelly. We waited 2 1/2 hours for him to come on stage after Tone-Loc and he didn't show, so we left. We heard that he didn't end up playing for another hour to half a crowd because everyone was leaving. ITS GETTIN' HOT IN HERRRRRRE.

The WHITEST version of "Get Low" EVER

It's not bad...it's just so not like the real song. Scratch that - I LOVE IT.

NOH8, Ya'll

Clint Eastwood don't give a FUCK! (and make a good point!)

Justin Bieber is a baby daddy?

Some girl in CalifWHOREnia claims Justin Bieber is the father of her son. They met last year during one of his concerts and he invited her backstage where they allegedly did the dirty - don't worry - she says it only lasted 30 seconds. She has been trying to reach his people for months claiming he got her pregnant, but never got a response (DUH).

There's only one thing - lesbians can't get girls pregnant! I think you're in the clear J Biebs!